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What YOU have said about TMSD: The Website of James C.T. Plant.

“I actually just find the blog itself very funny” -Fritz

“But yeah, there’s some very good writing there” -Tom

“ONLINE CASINO!” -Spambot 9000

What I’m Playing #1 – 26th June 2009

To celebrate one year since tmSd’s official opening, I’m introducing a new feature I’m going to call “What I’m Playing”. And it is, of course, a short review of whatever game I happen to be playing at the time of writing. And, to kick us off here, I’m presenting the wonderful Within a Deep Forest from Nicklas Nygren. I’m sure that if this feature continues we shall hear much more from Mr. Nygren as his games are simply that good. Within a Deep Forest is not about action, or blowing stuff up, but rather it’s enveloping atmosphere which draws the player in with beautiful pixel art graphics and ambient music and sound as you explore vast expanses of scenery. As another bonus, it’s also completely free and easily available on the internet – so there is no excuse for not going and downloading it right now.

Website- http://nifflas.ni2.se

-James

Game image copyright Nicklas Nygren. Fair use assumed.

R.I.P Michael Jackson

Short post here, but I’ve just heard that it’s been confirmed that the king of pop Michael Jackson has died at the ago of 50. Rest in Peace. In commemoration I’ve put on Moonwalker on the Mega Drive.

RIP.

James Plant’s Personal Pick of the Internet

Scroll down for a much better post…

Well, it’s been a while since I last said anything about computers here on tmSd. Nothing much to do with them has really happened over the last few months. The most interesting thing that’s happened is that I got another old computer from school which I sold to my brother, whereupon it immediately and catastropically broke. I’ve also gone back to GNOME for the time being, simply because it feels so much nicer to use.

So to keep the computer theme going here, I’m going to give you a list of my top however-many-it-turns-out-to-be websites which you simply must visit.

These aren’t in any particular order, by the way.

xkcd

Warning: contains some language and slightly mature themes.

Of all the webcomics I’ve seen, this one has it all. It’s aimed at those with a little grey matter, so some of the jokes might not be immedately obvious to non-”nerds”. It’s a good read, and manages to be incredibly entertaining even with no real characters in it. Go there!

Fat-Pie

Warning: some cartoons are creepy as Hell and contain blood and gore.

Unless you’ve been living in a hole, you’ll have heard of Salad Fingers at least once. If you havent, it’s about a green chap who lives on his own.. somewhere.. and, well, it’s kind of creepy but good fun to watch. The animator, David Firth, has a whole site full of cartoons like this, some are creepy, some are dark, some are funny as Hell (Especially Burnt Face Man, which has it’s own website) and all of them are well worth a good look. Go there!

The FAILblog

If you live on the internet, you’ll have likely heard of something called “Epic Fail”. This is an entire site dedicated to Fails, and it is absolutely hilarious. Go there!

The I Can Has Cheezburger Network

The parent network of the above-mentioned FAILblog, this site has sections on LOLcats, LOLdogs, political humour and much much more. Go there!

Questionable Content

Another webcomic, and this one’s simply about some indie people. And that’s it. It’s incredibly fun to read and I recommend it any day. I suggest starting at issue #1, as it is a sequential webcomic, as opposed to xkcd, which isn’t. Go there!

That Guy With The Glasses

This guy is FANTASTICALLY funny, especially his Nostalgia Critic and Ask That Guy With The Glasses shows. Go there!

The Angry Video Game Nerd

Warning: Incredibly frequent foul language and some quite disgusting similies.

The Angry Video Game Nerd, or AVGN as he is often referred to as, is a very funny reviewer of old video games. Recently he’s branched out into movies as well, but the game reviews are the best by far. Go there! (Click on the Angry Video Game Nerd tab)

Doctor Ashen

A reviewer of “Retro Tat” as he puts it, Dr. Ashen perfectly delivers a wonderful dollop of dry British humour with over-the-shoulder reviewing action. Go there!

The Daily Click

A website where people submit indie games they have made for the general public to download. Some are actually really good, especially Darkside Adventures and the fantastic Knytt Stories. You HAVE to download these two. HAVE to. They are so much fun to play. Go there!

And that’s that! That’s a pick of my top sites in no particular order. Go check them out!

-James

How to get hacked to pieces by Ninjas or Vampires… and pay for it!

The video arcade as an entity is almost dead in the traditional sense. I mean, think about it. You go into an arcade these days and every single game has either a steering wheel, a gun, or one of those massive fibreglass motorcycles that exist only as a distraction to the actual game. The progress of home video games means that the games have to have something which can’t be done at home – at least, not without a hideously expensive add-on. So, I went in to the Bright Spot arcade – my local – today with a £5 note and plenty of cheer, hoping to blast the Hell out of some baddies on the gnarled old Time Crisis 2 machine.

Namco really got things right with Time Crisis 2. Now, I’ve never actually played any of the other ones – I’d love to, though – but TC2 has it all. It’s cheap to play, it’s not stupidly hard, and it’s good value for money as you’ll get a fair amount of play time for your 30p. The pedal thing is a nice feature too, as you can actually defend yourself from enemy fire. Namco really got it right, which is why TC2 is so damned good.

Now, I went to the Bright Spot, money in hand, cheery as a drunken Saturday morning cartoon character and… The sodding Time Crisis 2 machine was out of order. I couldn’t believe it. The only half decent game in that place and it was wrapped in danger tape with a black screen. Well, thanks a lot, fate.

With money burning a towering inferno in my pocket, I decided to try out the other shooting games in there. I mean, Time Crisis 2 was good, right? Surely these other games – which were also made by Namco, just for the record – couldn’t be TOO bad, right?

Wrong, man. Wrong.

The first one I tried was Ninja Assault and.. oh my God. I paid 50p for this and died within seconds. It was bad. Now, I know the idea with these games is that once you die you’re simply supposed to pop in another 50p and keep playing. But no. I died so fast, and so easily, I might add, that I might as well have put 50p into the box to have a huge notice flash up telling me to never put any money in the box again. After a quick look I found the problem: The player has so few hit points, and the enemies come so quickly, that the player has literally no time to react to the sword strikes which simply do not cease.

Thinking that things couldn’t get worse, I slid another 50p into the Vampire Night machine which was next to Ninja Assault. Picking up the gun – which was pink for some reason – I thought: “Hell yes. A game where I can blow Edward Cullen’s head off. How could this POSSIBLY be bad?”. Bloody Hell, it found a way. The exact same problem in Ninja assault was present here too. The player is simply drowned in enemies – that don’t even LOOK like vampires, they look like blue zombies – that can’t be killed fast enough. And with only 3 hit points, I was dead again within seconds.

Now that’s just terrible.

Namco need to take a hint from this. Time Crisis II was good. These two, which came afterwards, simply were not. Namco need to learn: A shooting game needs to be easy, fun, and above all, cheap to play. If you must have the player die after just three hits, at least make it cheap to get more life. Players aren’t going to pay another 50p if they know they’re just going to get clobbered in the same amount of time. Just give the player value for money, and they’ll keep coming back. Piss them off and nick their money and they won’t.

And for F**k’s sake, let the player actually defend themselves!

-James

What rocks about the Super Nintendo..

I’m not exactly sure how this article should begin. Y’see, finally owning a Super Nintendo is a big deal for me. As a lover of classic games, it’s great to finally be able to own what is considered by many to be the embodiment of the Golden Age of Video Gaming.

I’ve bought some more games for the system – I now have exactly four, with Earthworm Jim arriving soon as a fifth. This is the smallest library of games I have for any of my consoles.. well, apart from the Game Boy Colour, but my original Game Boy games compensate for that. I was initially surprised to learn that the SNES doesn’t actually play NES games semi-natively, in the same way that the Mega Drive would still play Master System games by use of the power base converter*, but it’s fair enough, and even if it did I’d only end up buying an NES anyway.

We’re drifting a little here. The SNES is a superb console, and I love it. At the moment I have these games:

• Super Mario World
• Super Mario All-Stars
• Starwing/Starfox
• NBA All-star-basketball-men-running-around-nonsensical-mess
  
• Oh, and Earthworm Jim in the post. Haven’t played it yet. Duh.

They’re good fun, with the exception of the basketball game, but I’ve already written about that. Fricking LJN. I can see why the AVGN hates them so much. Why do I keep spelling already with two ‘L’s? Hooray for spellcheckers.

I kind of like Super Mario World, which is surprising as being a long-time Sonic fan I thought I’d automatically hate it. It’s good fun, it’s what you think of as a platformer, it’s.. just Mario, really.

I still prefer Sonic.

Now, I’m most certainly looking forward to the arrival of my Earthworm Jim cart. The game is made by Shiny, a studio that made one of my all-time favourites: Wild 9 on the Playstation. I know I haven’t mentioned it before, but it has been one of my firm favourites for a long time. It deserves an article to itself and that’s what it’ll get in time. Anyway, I expect similar awesomeness from Earthworm Jim. It certainly looks great, in any case.

One other thing has actually surprised me about the Super Nintendo. After reading about it’s technical superiority over the Mega Drive, I was expecting the games to be considerably different in look and feel from the Mega Drive. Quite thankfully, it feels like a 16-bit system, and I love it.

-James

*Now that’s something that’s gone from video gaming – the silly names for a “Console”.. could you imagine a Wii “Power Base” or a 360 “Control Deck”?

One year of tmSd.. Aren’t you happy!

Well, there it is, guys. One year of tmSd. We’ve come a long way from when this site was first put up way back in 2008 as “Plant’s Twisted Mind”.. Looking back, it’s great to see the way the site has evolved over the year into what you see today, and not just because of it’s 244,000 logo redesigns and header changes.

We’ll do something special for the anniversary of the Grand Opening, because that’s when tmSd really started to fly.

-James

Certain Death? Getting a bit bored of it now..

Well, that’s that. According to the news Swine Flu has hit Britain and we’re all going to be dead by next Tuesday. A pity really, because my Super Nintendo arrived yesterday.

I should probably have posted this before, but I’ve been very busy recently with exams and the like. I know, common webmaster excuse but we’re people too, y’know.

Anyway, with a very generous £20 from my father, we ordered one off eBay Saturday evening and by Tuesday night – Alakazam! – There it was, sitting in my dining room.. although it had been parcelled in the most amazing way possible. I should have got a photo of it.. it was literally mummified in parcel tape, which was incredibly difficult to open because I didn’t want to accidentally cut any wires.

Once it was freed from this mess, it looked mighty fine. It’s a fully working unit, with a single control pad and all the required wires. Apart from some gunk in the power switch and a bit of yellowing on the case – which is fine because research tells me that SNES’s have a habit of turning all sorts of funny colours – it’s in perfect condition.

One thing that does mystify me slightly is the game included.. Now, the eBay listing’s title included the phrase “ALL STAR” leading me to think it was Super Mario All-Stars..

..It wasn’t, it turns out.

What arrived in the package was “NBA All-Star Challenge”. Well, first things first. It’s basketball. A sport I have absolutely no interest or knowledge of and no idea of any of the rules, conventions or even any famous players, with the exception of Michael Jordan – only because he was in Space Jam – and some chap called Shaq, who appears to be the American equivalent of Brand Beckham over here.

This game makes no sense to me. Basically, you run around, another guy runs around with you, and then you jump and put the ball through the hoop. There’s one mode which you quite literally just walk up and press a button to score. Over and over again.

Possibly magnifying this problem is that I have no idea who any of these people are, or even the teams they’re from. Why did Nintendo even publish this in the PAL region? I can’t think of anyone I know who has even the remotest interest in basketball. It’s just not that popular over here.

Anyway, the system itself is lovely, and I can do a proper write-up on it once I actually get a decent game for it.

Now, is anybody selling Starwing?

-James

TmSd is still alive, don’tcha know..

Well, I was clearly speaking out of my arse last time I said it wouldn’t be that long between updates. This is post #50 – hooray! – and I was planning something special.. although clearly it isn’t going to be available within the forseeable future so I decided to give up on it for the time being.

So here we go with a nice regular post for you.

So yes, today is the day I get some money. What do I do with the money? I spend it on Wii software, of course. Gah, did you not see that coming?

Well, I had £7 to hand, so I bought 1000 Wii points on the shop channel. And, well, I had a little idea. To those who don’t know, games on the Wii Virtual Console are games from past systems which you buy, then you can play them in their full glory on your Wii. Now I know what you’re probably thinking. Couldn’t I just get NESticle and a load of ROMs for exactly the same thing but without having to pay? Well, yes. But number one, that’s inherently illegal and number two, it’s just not the same to be playing it on a computer screen. Now, I bought two NES games, Super Mario Bros. 3, and Mega Man. Being slightly too young, I didn’t grow up with the NES so I’m sure I’m missing a trick here.

For one, why is Mega Man so damned hard!? I know it’s a classic and all, but wow. I’ve played some of the first level so far and I can assume either of two things:

1) It’s too damn hard

OR

2) I’m rubbish at it

..Probably the latter, knowing how these things turn out.

I just wish you could fire up or diagonally. Those grinning helicopter things are the Devil incarnate. Look at them. Grinning at me. Mocking me.

SCREW YOU BLUE GRINNING HELICOPTER BASTARD!

Well, I haven’t actually got very far on Mega Man, so that’s all I can really say.

I also bought Super Mario Bros. 3, on recommendation of the Angry Video Game Nerd in one of his videos. It’s an okay game. Okay as in okay to someone who grew up with, and is fundamentally rooted to Sonic the Hedgehog. For one, why does Mario move so damn slowly? And why, for that matter, when I hold down one of the buttons does he move so damn quickly? Is there no middle ground? It’s either you wait a week to jump on the Goomba or you hold down the button and plough into it at three times the speed of sound. Now I understand how Mario keeps up with Sonic in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games.

Well, all in all, I’m quite pleased with my purchases. I now have two classic games I have wanted for a while – legally – without having to spend £40 on an NES. I’m rather chuffed.

-James

TmSd rips off AVGN: Jungle Book on Sega Master System review.

Watch and die inside.

Anyway. Quick site news. I now apparently have 50 posts, which excluding the Site News – which doesn’t count – means that this is post #49. Jubilations!

Fair use of copyrighted material under UK law.

A Man’s Shelf is His Domain

Well, I can’t think of a proper opening to this post. All I can say is that it is unbelivably hard to try and track down a DVD of the Beetlejuice cartoon on the internet. Why is this? IT DOESN’T EXIST. But how was I supposed to know that? According to Wikipedia -

Ah.. Wikipedia.. May I bask in it’s eternal glory..

Sorry. That happens whenever I say that. Anyway, according to W*******a, there was three episodes of the cartoon on the DELUXE DVD of the Beetlejuice film. Which, just to piss me off, is not carried by any website here in the UK.

The regular one is though. I’ll probably buy it.

So yes, this renders my endless scouring through the results of what Play.com laughingly calls a search engine completely pointless.

Anyway, that spleen-venting aside, I think I should put up this:

Fig. 1. Sony made a lot of money off me in the late 1990’s.

Due to infinite boredom, I decided to categorise (and in the case of the Mega Drive and Saturn games – alphabetise) my various games. Clockwise, these are Mega Drive, Master System (in the white boxes), Saturn, PS1 and then a tiny fraction of the total PS2 games I have.

They’re around somewhere.

But yes, marvel in it’s glory. And forgive me for the lack of dry British humour tonight. I’m a little tired after hunting the internet for the Beetlejuice cartoon.

At the moment I have the page for Cool World up. I must be mad.

Original text and images copyright James Plant, 2009.