Read Part I of the Wayback Machine odyssey.
Read it up there? Or perhaps read it already. Good. By now, you should know the format: I choose a webpage from the Wayback Machine, I post it here, and then I post an addendum to mock its oldness. And I’m actually sober this time around, so no nonsense. Read the copyright disclaimer on the last post if you’re a lawyer. Ready? Ready.
Nokia.com on December 19th, 1996
Tearing my eyes away from the blinding HIGHLIGHTS gif, it somewhat concerns me that the digibox on the right looks identical to the model on one of the flat-screens around here. The multimedia gallery is full of some bizzare, alien codecs I’ve never seen before – the hell is VivoActive? – and even VLC, which normally plays absolutely anything, is left as stumped as Jeff Goldblum’s Powerbook rightfully should have been at the end of Independence Day.
Google.stanford.edu on November 11th, 1998
I tried to put this off as long as possible, because we all know what Google looked like when it started out. I kind of miss the exclamation mark.
To be much bigger, and then, the world.
Freewebs on September 28th, 2003
Ah, Freewebs, how so many of my early internet endeavours lie failed in your bosom. Not the very earliest, mind, which was a quite frankly embarrassing attempt on Google Sites, dating back to when I was thirteen and muddled LOL RANDOM with, you know, jokes. Thankfully, nobody read it. There are more, but they have been swept into the annals of history, where they shall stay until unearthed on the Wayback Machine. Full-circle!
MySpace on April 14th, 2006
Christ, memories. MySpace pages were more the preserve of my older brother’s generation, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t succumb to peer pressure and have one too. I remember it now, my page having a daft background of some glowing mushrooms nicked from a template site (blissfully unaware of the drug connotations), every single one of my friend’s pages being frazzling pink with TWINKLY NAME gifs and ‘about me’ sections cringeworthy of the highest magnitude. No, I’m not even going to search for my profile for fear of dying inside.
It amuses me no end that the new, slick redesigned “My_____” has the option to log in via ‘Connect with Facebook’.
Again, to wrap this up, the Wayback Machine could, in the right hands, actually be of useful historical record. Those hypothetical hands are not mine. Stick around for an equally hypothetical-at-this-point Part III.